Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
