is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
