it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
