When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
