Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
