He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
