is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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