i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
