and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
