it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
