i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
