Are we in a gay sports bar?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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