Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
