Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
