I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
