whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize