Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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