I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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