I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
