Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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