nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
