if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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