Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My dick has a subreddit
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
