Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize