I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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