I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's like heaven, but drunker
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
