Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
