I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
