Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
