I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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