Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
