her vagine was all disorganized.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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