I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
