he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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