I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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