My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
