where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
