But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
