We won't sleep together?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
