So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
