I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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