he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
