Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
