is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
