i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
