I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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