I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
