Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
