i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
