he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
