i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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