Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
