where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
