i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
