I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
