If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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