I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize