dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
