dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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