I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
