I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
