i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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